XWhat?
by Twisties
Summary: Twoshot. Benny gives Maureen an interesting and fun birthday present...What type  of fun will the Bohos have with this? All canon pairings AU: Angel lives! Rated just to be safe...
1. X What?

**X-What?**

"Happy Birthday toooo yooooooou!" It was Maureen's birthday and all of the bohos had gathered at the Life Café to celebrate. They'd just finished singing happy birthday as a waiter brought out a cake for the diva.

"Oh my gosh is this for me?" Joanne nodded and pecked Maureen on the lips.

"Yep, I got your favorite kind too; chocolate cake with chocolate frosting," The lawyer replied smiling.

"Aww Pookie, I love it!! Thank you guys so much!" All of Maureen's friends smiled as Joanne lit the candles for Maureen's cake.

"Well are you gonna blow out the candles so we can eat this, or what?" Collins asked as Maureen sat in her seat admiring the candles.

"Jesus Collins, have some patience, I was trying to think of a good wish!"

"Oh well _excuse_ me… forgive me for wanting some cake your majesty."

"I guess I can…"Maureen said smirking, "Okay, I got it now; I'm gonna blow out my candles." The restaurant got quiet as Maureen closed her eyes bent over to the cake and blew with all her might. Maureen opened her eyes to see if she'd blown out all of the candles and was shocked to see that she'd only blown out three.

"Pookie, can you help me?" the diva asked with her signature pout on her face.

"Sure, no problem…" Together the couple managed to blow out all of the candles.

"Congratulations Maureen, you've made it into adulthood…"Mark said as he captured the moment on film. Angel had a confused look on her face and leaned in to whisper something to Mimi.

"Chica, didn't Maureen turn 21 already?" Mimi quietly giggled and whispered back to Angel.

"Yeah, 7 times, to be exact. But if you ask her, she'll tell you with a straight face that this is the first time she's turned 21." The friends began laughing uncontrollably with each other at the joke and soon the rest of their little group was looking at them.

"Um, can I ask you what's so funny m'dear?" Collins asked his lover as she convulsed with laughter.

Angel tried to calm herself down as she answered him, "Nothing, nothing…it's an inside joke."

"I wanna be inside!" Collins mock whined.

"Thomas, you're inside me every night…what are you talking about?"

"Whoa!" Roger exclaimed covering his ears, "That is not something I want to hear about…aw great; now that's gonna be in my head all day long. Thanks a lot, lovebirds."

"Your welcome," the couple answered in unison.

Maureen cleared her throat, "Erm, back to me now! Let's open presents!" Just as Maureen was about to open the first present, Benny walked into the Life Café.

"Oh, hey guys…what's up?" he asked rather casually.

"Well, well, well, what brings you down here Mr. Coffin? Muffy kick you out the house again?" Mark asked sarcastically. Benny rolled his eyes at the immaturity of his old friend.

"Actually yeah. She got me an X-Box for my birthday a couple of weeks ago, and she says I play with it more than I play with her…so I have to throw it away."

"An X-What?" Maureen questioned, quickly becoming interested in the conversation.

"And X-Box; it's this new gaming system and its _amazing!_"

"Hmmm, really…well, Benny I have a proposition for you: you give me your X-Box as a birthday present and I give you a piece of this lovely cake in exchange. How does that sound?"

"You know what Ms. Johnson? I think we may just have a deal…but one more thing."

"What's that?"

"I have to be allowed to come over at least once a week to play it."

"As long as you don't walk in on Pookie and I doing the nasty, I personally don't care. Pookie?" Joanne nodded her head in agreement.

"Yeah, just knock before coming in or you may end up seeing some wild and crazy lesbian sex…"

"And there's a problem with that?" Joanne punched Benny in his arm.

"Just knock first asshole." Benny agreed to all of the conditions and went to his Range Rover to get the X-Box. When he came back in, all the bohos were amazed at how sleek and cool it looked.

"Dude, this is gonna rock!" Roger proclaimed when he saw the new gaming system.

"I'm gonna be over MoJo's house all the time!" Collins noted.

"Yeah, me too…" Mimi added.

Angel smiled, "I usually don't like these types of things, but this is amazing looking. I'm gonna be all over this."

Collins smiled and looked at Joanne, "Mrs. Jefferson…can we come and play at your house with Maureen after the party??"

"Pleeeeeease?" The others including Maureen and Benny added together.

"Well, I guess so…" Joanne said smiling.

"WOOOO! PARTAY AT MY HOUSE!!" Maureen screamed, "Now, to more important things, let's eat some cake!" Maureen cut the cake and handed out pieces of the delectable chocolaty goodness as they stuffed themselves silly with cake and beer.

**Wooo! R&R please! Next chapter: The bohos play X-Box for the first time…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Erm, yah so lets pretend together that there were X-Boxes in the late 80s early 90s...I kinda sorta forgot about that when I was writing this...oops **

"Hey Benny, hurry up so we can set this crap up!" Maureen yelled as she and the other Bohemians walked into her and Joanne's apartment ready to play X-Box. Benny had been stuck with carrying the X-Box all by himself up 5 flights of stairs so needless to say he was a little behind the rest of the gang.

"I'm coming," the landlord said out of breath.

"Yeah well put some pep in your step mister," Mark added.

"Well aren't you just full of them today Cohen?" Benny said rolling his eyes as he finally made it into the apartment, "Where do you want me to set it up?"

"What do you mean? I thought you just plugged it in somewhere…" Maureen said with a confused look on her face.

"No…you need a television…the bigger the TV the better too."

"We have a nice big one in our room," Maureen suggested.

"Hell no!" Joanne protested, "We are not going to have a bunch of drunken bohemians in our room for god knows how long. What if I wanna try and go to sleep?"

"Pookie!" Maureen whined, "They'll only be here for like an hour or so…come on, pleeeease? It's my birthday!"

Joanne sighed, "Fine; and only because it's your birthday too…" Maureen smiled and kissed Joanne on the lips. Then she showed Benny where the TV was and he set up the X-Box.

"So…what do we do with it?" Mimi asked looking at the blank screen.

"Um, yeah…this is pretty boring Benny," Collins added with a nod.

"No, no, you have to put a game in! You don't just sit here and stare at the screen…jeez I thought you guys were smarter than that..."

"Well then quit sitting there and put in the damn game!" Roger demanded.

"Hoookay….we're a pushy bunch aren't we?" Benny took about 15 games out of his backpack and lay them on the floor to display them to the bohemians, "I present to you, The Games. Treat them nicely for they have feelings too."

"Wow, and I thought Collins smoked too much…"Angel said giggling.

Mark who was catching all of this on film, as always, looked at the games in wonder, "Holy shit, look at the variety…I wanna play that one!" He exclaimed pointing to a Tony Hawk game.

"Yeah, that guy's _hot_," Maureen said pointing to Tony Hawk on the cover, "I wanna play with him…"

Joanne looked at Maureen with piercing eyes, "_Excuse me?_" she asked.

"What? Oh Pookie, I meant I wanted to play with the _game_, not him!"

"Mmhmm, whatever. Put in the game Benny; the sooner you all get your fix with this game, the sooner Honeybear and I can get to _my_ birthday present."

Mimi, Angel, and Collins: "Awwwwww!"

Mark, Benny, and Roger: "Ewwwwww!"

"Hell yes Pookie…yeah so come on let's play," Maureen said enthusiastically. Benny put in the Tony Hawk game and sharp graphics of pro-skaters zoomed across the screen.

"Oh shit, this is hot! Lemme go first!" Collins exclaimed, very out of character.

"No way big guy," Maureen responded, "you're my besty and all but it is my birthday…you can go after me." Collins sighed.

"Fine, but everybody heard her right? I call second." In the end, the order of people playing was: Maureen, Collins, Mimi, Mark, Angel, Roger, and Benny.

"So what do I do first?" Maureen asked perplexed by all the buttons on the controller.

"Okay so first you use the joystick to move around and the _a_ button to make selections. So you wanna make a person first so you can skate with them…" Benny showed Maureen where to go to create a skater and she got started.

Three hours passed and Maureen had just finished making her person; a female with orange hair, a tank top, tight leather pants, and tattoos going all down her arms and legs.

"She's pretty hot if I do say so myself…"

"Pretty gross," Joanne retorted.

"Pookie don't tell me you're jealous…she's fake, I can't cheat on you with her."

Roger snorted, "If anyone could find a way to, it'd be you Mo." Maureen flipped him off and started to play her game. What she didn't realize was that Tony Hawk was a never ending game. There was no way for her to win or lose. Sure, she received points and lost points, but she could keep playing until her fingers fell off if she so desired. Finally 2 hours later she got tired of playing.

"I see why Allison made you get rid of this, Benny. It's addicting."

"It is! And I tried to explain that to her…she just doesn't get it..." Benny sighed, "women nowadays…" Collins started to play after Maureen and he decided that he didn't want to keep the same character as Maureen. So the process started all over. He created a player, skated with the player, and then got bored and passed the controller to Mimi.

By the time it was Mark's turn it was already 11:30 at night. The bohemians had lost track of time with this diabolical new thing called the X-Box and had been playing for 10 hours straight.

"Pookie," Maureen whined, "I still haven't gotten your present yet…"

Joanne shrugged her shoulders, "Oh well, it was your idea to bring the X-Box over here…Maybe you should have thought about that."

"Well, can't we just do it in the guest room or something?"

"Maureen, you know I don't have sex with people in the same house as me…we are _way_ too loud for that."

"Yeah, I guess you're right…but I really want my birthday gift from you," Maureen said pouting.

"Sorry babe," Joanne said pecking Maureen on the lips as she went to get a beer out of the fridge.

Once midnight came around, Maureen was irritable and ready for everyone to leave. So she did what any birthday girl in her situation would do; she went into the kitchen pantry, found the switchboard, and cut off the power throughout the house.

"What the—" Mark yelled loudly at the interruption in his game.

"Aww, it looks like the power blew. Darn, now you guys have to leave…aww that just sucks doesn't it? Oh well, see ya tomorrow!" Maureen said while shooing her friends out of the door.

"Maureen, why don't you just go turn the power back on?" Roger asked, pointing to the pantry door.

"What? Oh, didn't you know that we can't do that here? Some restriction or something…we have to wait until the electrician comes…"

Collins smirked, "I know that hustle; Maureen, you just want us to leave so you can get freaky with Joanne, don't you?"

The diva rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, "Fine, fine, you caught me…is it such a crime to want to make sweet love with the woman that I love?"

"Well sugar, why didn't you just say so?" Angel asked, "We would have left ages ago you know…"

"Well ages have passed and this diva is horny as hell sooooo," Maureen said dragging out the word, "you lovelies are going to have to leave. Now."

The bohos giggled at Maureen's haste as they all immigrated out the door towards their own homes. Maureen and Joanne seemed like they would be alone at last.

"Mmmm, so how about the birthday present I offered you Honeybear?" Joanne whispered seductively in Maureen's ear while her hands traveled under her shirt.

"That sounds perfect right about now…" Right after the two had ripped off each others shirts and were heading towards the table to have "relations", Benny burst into the apartment and stood there looking at the scene in front of him.

"Oh. I uh…oh. Wow…I forgot my car keys…" The landlord fumbled past the couple who stood, topless, staring at him and got his keys after which he quickly bolted out of the door.

"Wow," Maureen said looking at the closed door.

"Yeah, we gotta remember to lock that door…"

**Fin.**


End file.
